Each and everyone has a story to tell. The story is important but equally important is :where is the story coming from , who are you giving voice to , which part of you wants to voice the story, why is it important to tell the story ? It is important to understand that ,if the story is not related to the right person then the story will be retold without any solution or more importantly the peace of mind you are seeking will be elusive. Relating the story to the right person is important cause only then the process of acceptance, letting go and moving on can take place. What I mean by the right person is the person who is involved in the story with the storyteller. If the right person is not in a position to listen to the story then the storyteller could use methods recommended in personal therapy like writing a letter or even speaking to an empty chair. I had gone through my personal therapy and am a trained para counselor. Even with my knowledge and skills, I still went through a period of wanting to retell my story.
I too had a story of struggle to tell. I tried to tell my story to my friends and loved ones but I was not satisfied though everyone listened patiently, consoled me and even shared their own story. I kept wanting to retell my story until it annoyed me and it overwhelmed me .I was truly upset with myself. The need to tell my story became a burden even to a point I was afraid I might blurt out when I was with acquaintances and sometimes, with people I just met.
As I went trough this process ,I heard a talk on the internet about identifying and giving voice to a person at the right moment and the right time otherwise the story will never have an ending. That got me thinking. I stopped and looked deep within myself : who is it who wants to voice this story, the present me in the now, confident and insightful , the young little girl who had a difficult growing up period, the teenager who was constantly anxious or the young insecure wife who struggled to raise her family in the outback ? Gosh it hit me then! It was the young wife who was struggling to finally tell her story. For your information, the little girl and the teenager had told their stories as I have given them voice to express their feelings and stories also to forgive the people in their stories. They have more or less moved on.
I was honestly surprised by my discovery. I have never spoken to anyone about my life as a wife. The present me shares a very loving, caring ,supportive and jovial relationship with my spouse. This relationship of ours had progressed and evolved from the difficulties we had faced at the beginning of our marriage. I guess I still harbored the hurt because i never gave the young wife a voice. And now,maybe , as I am in the process of changing my lifestyle, it’s finally coming out. It’s true we can never repress our feelings cause they only fester and spillover to our daily life.
So now I have this task of telling my story: to my spouse. He was the right person to tell my story.I realised I would never find a closure until I tell him my story. He might be hurt , upset or even disappointed but I need to give the young wife a voice. I finally gave her a voice: all the hurt, tears and insecurities she experienced came out. I told her story but the maturity and confidence I have at present helped me tell her story without anger but with lots of dignity. It was such a relieve when I finished telling the story. My spouse took some time to process the story and I was proud of him cause he apologized to the young wife and acknowledge my story : like the true gentleman I love and cherish.
I honestly do not know if everyone will be able to tell their story and find peace but it’s worth a try. The process of identifying your story and identifying or finding the right person might be tough even embarrassing sometimes but do forgive yourself. The need to tell the story is important but do it with the tolerance ,compassionate, love , caring and values you have cultivated over the years. The present you can only give a voice to your inner self when you are able to feel love, compassion and tolerance.