Monthly Archives: March 2015

My Journey 2… Understanding the Changes in my life

Today I would like to share the emotional and mental changes I went through when I retired two months ago after working for more than thirty years.Believe me , I never expected the kaleidoscope of thoughts that ran wild and directionless, through my mind .

  • I should give a little background on my working life for you to understand my thoughts : I lead a pretty hectic life as an educator for young children for over 30 years and I regularly move to different towns and get transferred to various  institutes to teach. The move was because of my husband’s nature of work.I am very good in preparing children for national exams so very often I was sent to all the low performing institutes and sometimes really interior ones. I have spent a good part my life travelling on bumpy roads and bulldozing my ways through people with stagnant thoughts and with egos as large as  mountains.I will talk more on this in a different post. So as you can see, I have let a very busy life, what more with taking care of my three kids and my husband . A few years ago , my health was effected and I realised I needed to slow down so I finally decided to put in my papers for an early retirement.

Immediately after I retired, I moved to an entirely new country with my husband as he was once again given a new assignment. My kids were in college so I was free to move with my husband. My first month was spent cleaning and setting up our new quarters. It was time consuming and pretty tiring so I did not have much time to reflect or even think.

Then came February , the first week was spent planning a visit home to visit my kids and relatives. The second week was the trip and it was a pretty good trip and I did have some incidents which could have contributed to my feelings for the following week.

The moment I returned, it hit me that I have finally retired.I had so much of time and I didn’t have my work as a shield to protect me from  the emotions and feelings which I have deep down inside me. For your knowledge , I was emotionally abused and went through a few traumatic incidents for a number of years. Frankly , I have worked on these issues and thought I had laid them to rest. But NO ….. they were still there , and they came back to my mind which was idle and worked right into my self esteem which had probably plummeted when I stopped working.

Whoever said that an idle mind is a devil’ s workshop must have gone through a retirement. It’s really odd how when we looked forward to lazing around and not doing anything can actually cause you trouble. I learned that :

# I should be gently and kind to myself as I wean myself out of my old ‘busy’ routine.

# I should not confuse my present state of not having a job with myself esteem. I respect myself and I have       contributed the best I can.

# I validate and acknowledge my hard work  and performance.

# I deserve to rest whenever I want

# I deserve to enjoy my free time anyway I like

# I must be patient with my mind and body as they recover from all the stress and weariness I have accumulated over the years.

# I am able to enjoy all the simple things that I have always wanted to do.

# All the simple things I am doing are important to me.

#It not important for others to validate whatever I am doing cause I validate it.That’s the more important.

#I will look into new possibilities and  and explore them at my pace.

Well , right now I am doing one of the simple thing I have wanted : writing a blog. Congratulations to myself. Bye for now.

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My Journey 1 -A New Leaf in my Life!-

6th March 2015

Life sure has it’s own way of providing us with nooks ,corners and surprises. Today, I finally got to set up my own blog.Yeah ! I have wanted to do it for really long time but was not able to do it cause I was bogged down by my work and was busy being a wife, a mum and a sibling.I firmly also refused to divert or divide my time on other matters. I gave priority to those who were there ,right in front of me. I sometimes wonder whether my way of thinking was right cause ,in spite of all the effort and hard work I put into my actions , I m always the unsung hero. I actually googled  about unsung heroes to find out more about why we feel like that. Apparently ,it comes from our need for outside validation : to be praised or acknowledged by others. I actually realised , I was the one who was undermining my efforts and hardwork and not anyone else. That insight let me to read more articles and somehow I made a greater effort in pursuing my long wanted intention of starting a blog. Today, I’m finally writing and posting my thoughts. Congratulations to myself for having the commonsense and understanding to reflect and realise my shortcomings and to act on them. A big thank you too, to my darling husband for setting up a Wi-Fi hotspot for me to access the internet.You are indeed my soul mate, love you so much. And, my darling daughters, thank you for being my role models. Your courage,insights and diligence inspire me everyday. Not to forget, warm birthday greetings to one of my daughters who is slowly turning into a lovely adult.

P.S. I use the Wi-Fi hotspot cause I recently moved to in an interior part of this world.

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Welcome & Share My Journey

Thank you so much for choosing to share my journey, my chi. It’s indeed a blessing to be able to reach out and share a part of my life with my fellow beings. Thank you for your support and time. I hope I would be able to learn from you and you, from me. Enjoy reading.

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